Thursday, 3 April 2014

In Memoriam Renuka Ray 1925 -- 2014

First of all, on behalf of my sister Pam and myself, we would like to thank everyone for coming here today to remember our mother Renuka Ray. I just wanted to say a few words as a memorial to her. Our mother was born in Calcutta in India in 1925. She was one of 4 sisters and 2 brothers. Her father Narendranath Sen was a physicist at Calcutta University. Our mother was brought up in the hustle and bustle of a big extended family with lots of cousins spending time together – and it’s nice that mum’s cousin Arun and his brother’s wife Sujata are able to be here today. She went to school in Calcutta and then went on to study Modern History at Calcutta University. She then became a teacher at the Loretto Girls school in Calcutta. At the age of 31 she was married to our father, Prabhat Ray, a research chemist. In 1960 he came to London to start a PhD, and my mum and Pam and myself followed him to the UK in 1962. In England, Mum at first took a job as a primary school teacher. But she soon found that teaching in a British school is a world apart from teaching at a private girls school in Calcutta. She gave up teaching and eventually worked for a number of years as a clerical assistant in the Department of Trade and Industry.

Mum’s interest in history stayed with her throughout her life. She was a great reader and in her fifties, she became very interested in everything to do with the last Tsar of Russia. She read every book she could find on the subject including some very obscure and old books which she ordered through the local public library. She also visited Russia and saw all the palaces and sites that she had become so familiar with through her reading. Eventually she started putting her researches down on paper and this resulted in a book entitled The Last Tsar and the Downfall of the Russian Monarchy which was privately printed for her seventieth birthday. This book has now been uploaded onto the internet and if anyone is interested the web address is given on the back of the order of service.

She also enjoyed reading novels – David Copperfield, Jane Eyre and Vanity Fair were probably her favourites. Later in life she greatly enjoyed reading the books written by the Christian author Corrie Ten Boom. She was fascinated by Corrie Ten Boom’s story of how she and her family saved many Jews in occupied Holland from being taken to the concentration camp and then were eventually sent to the camp themselves yet discovered God’s love and grace even there. She read the books by Corrie Ten Boom over and over and learned much about the power of forgiveness which she was able to apply in her own life.

Mum was also very interested in the British Royal Family and especially in the details of the abdication crisis. She must hold the record for the number of times that anyone has watched the Thames Television drama, Edward and Mrs Simpson. I’m not exaggerating when I say that she must have watched it right through at least a hundred times. Watching videos that she enjoyed over and over again was something that she did a lot of – Anne of Green Gables, documentaries about Princess Diana, and comedies such as Keeping Up Appearances, Rising Damp and Open All Hours, and even the film, Forest Gump, were her particular favourites. She had a great sense of humour and I think we all remember times when she would become hysterical with laughter. She was a great raconteur with an amazing memory and had an endless collection of stories about different relatives. She was very interested in politics, generally holding quite radical views, though her favourite British politician was Edward Heath. Her great hero was the Bengali Indian nationalist leader Subhas Chandra Bose. The day India became independent must have been one of the happiest of her life, though it was tempered by the fact that Bose himself did not live to see it. She loved travelling, especially visiting historical places; she loved having days out and spending time with people; she loved McDonalds.

She had a great interest in music all her life. She had a fine singing voice, and at the age of 15, she auditioned for the Calcutta Radio. Unfortunately due to nervousness this didn’t go too well but the Radio station encouraged her to come back in 6 months. Unfortunately she then suffered a bout of bronchitis which sadly put an end to this ambition. She appreciated much British pop music especially from the 60s and 70s – Val Doonican, Roger Whittaker, The Carpenters, Abba, Elton John amongst others. I remember her once telling me that she had come across a great new singer called Arthur Brownlow. I had no idea who it was until I eventually worked out that she meant Barry Manilow. In recent years she greatly enjoyed singing Christian worship songs at church – the two songs we are singing at this service today were her particular favourites and I have many memories of her wandering around the house singing these songs. She also loved to listen to a CD of worship songs which Pam herself had written and performed. Throughout her life she loved the music associated with the great Bengali writer and composer, Rabindranath Tagore. She knew huge amounts of Tagore’s poetry by heart, and she loved the songs, several of which she could play on the piano. She also greatly enjoyed the film adaptations Of some of Tagore’s stories by the director Satyajit Ray. We have already heard one of Tagore’s songs which became the Indian national anthem. And in a few minutes we’re going to listen to mum’s favourite song “Diner Sheshe” which means the Day’s Ending, performed many years ago by her favourite singer, Hemanta Mukherjee.


We will never forget Mum – her beautiful smile, her infectious sense of humour, her interesting stories, her love of people and good company, her warmth, kindness generosity and love.

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